August 22, 2013

It’s great that UK terror laws are being used to put the shits up journalists, according to real terrorists.

Pretending the laws extend to detaining journalists’ loved ones is a terrific idea, actual terrorists said.

Patrick Stewart, a real terrorist from Bath, said: “There’s not much I see eye-to-eye with the UK government on but we do seem to agree that secrets are good and journalists are a big pain in the arse.”

William Shatner, a real terrorist from east London, said: “Should newspapers be forced to destroy computer hard drives in pointless symbolic gestures? Shit yeah. Make them smash them up and then put them back together again. And then smash them up. All day long.”

A Metropolitan Police spokesman told Swan Bake: “You want to know about police powers? About terror law? Because you can find out. You’ll find out so fast you’ll think you are a terrorist.”