March 12, 2016

People given vast wealth by their parents somehow believe it means they are a ‘success’, it has emerged.

Inheritance billionaires are convinced they are ‘winners’ despite leading a life in which unimaginable wealth is the only possible outcome.

It had been assumed they would trudge through life crushed by the uncertainty that anything they achieved could ever be truly credited to them alone.

But now it’s become apparent they in fact swan about believing their good fortune has been some kind of performance and that they have simply done better at it than you.

People who do things for themselves have been stumped by the inexplicable self-congratulation, which emerged after some inheritance billionaires were allowed to go on TV and the internet.

TV and internet user Clubber Lang said: “It’s as though they think they have been a success purely by finding their way out of a wealthy person’s fanny.

“As though lesser people like you or I would still be stuck halfway out, butt first, trying to climb back in.”

An heir to vast wealth told an assembled press pack: “Who is the best person here? It’s me. I am the best person here.

“You’re all imagining sex with me. So am I.”