Top Gear replaces Jeremy Clarkson with even bigger cunt

Fears Top Gear would not be able to replace Jeremy Clarkson have been proved unfounded after it was confirmed the show had recruited an even bigger cunt.

It had been thought no one would be able to match the horrendousness of Clarkson, who was sacked last year for roundhouse kicking a producer who momentarily got in his way.

Some says he’s a cunt. All we know is they’re right.

Fans of the show said they would stop watching, since they themselves were without exception also cunts.

But filming with replacement Chris Evans has left producers wishing Clarkson would return and punch them unconscious just to briefly release them from the DJ’s unstoppable ginger cuntery, according to sources.

BBC bosses are now considering making Evans the subject rather than host of the show, which could be presented by Chris Packham and Michaela Strachan and renamed Cuntwatch.

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