April 28, 2016

A man is hoping TV has reached “peak cookery programme” so he can stop feeling bad about only being able to make ready meals and sandwiches.

Tony Anthony, 43, says that every time he sees MasterChef he asks what he would make as a contestant and the inevitable conclusion of toast is eroding his self-esteem.

The electrician from Liverpool wants telly bosses to cut back on cookery programmes so there is also room in schedules for shows about other things, like trains or murders.

“Cooking isn’t the only thing, is it?” he said. “Because after MasterChef, Celebrity MasterChef, MasterChef The Professionals, Bake Off and Bake Off Crème de la fucking Crème, I think it is.

“I don’t know what a croquembouche is. I don’t even know what croque monsieur is. I couldn’t spell it with alphabetti spaghetti, which is the only thing I have in the cupboard.

“I wondered if I could have some time in which I’m not reminded of this thought, so that I might remember other emotions.”

Tony’s friend Bob Robert said: “The other day he said he had this new idea for a TV show, called MasterChef Greggs, where people compete to make the best cheese sandwich. I said it might get repetitive and he started to cry.”