June 23, 2016

Britain was this morning enjoying its first break in months from arguing with racists as it awoke to the prospect of instead making them all unhappy with an ‘X’ in a box.

Millions are thought to have begun the country’s first Make a Racist Unhappy Day with a small, involuntary dance as they looked forward to displeasing more bigots with one simple act than has ever been possible before.

Many are calling for it to become an annual event, arguing that the boost to the nation’s morale of repeatedly disappointing Nigel Farage will alone justify the cost to the economy.

Trevor Beer, a web developer from Beer, said: “We need to hold referendums on other things that will unify every cunt in the country so that we can make them sad about that not happening either.

“Although for me today is all about Katie Hopkins. Can we every day ask her what she wants to happen, then come back with a sad face and tell her we’ve thought hard but fuck off?”