June 29, 2016

Boris Johnson and Micheal Gove will reveal a plan for Brexit just as soon as someone explains what the word means, they have said.

Johnson’s upper-class background and vast wealth means he has never had to consider consequence while sociopath Gove is incapable of looking further into the future than 10 minutes, according to the pair.

But they insist they can come up with whatever a plan is, Johnson because his Eton education makes him believe he can do anything and Gove because he experiences life as an emotion and consequence-free dream.

Johnson said: “I understand it’s some kind of preparation for the avoidance of things turning out badly for you. I’m just struggling a bit to envisage how that could ever be possible.

“Is it like a recipe? Nanny used to have those.”

Gove said: “It’s something to do with the future, right? And if I’ve got this correct, the future is, like, now, but not yet?

“I’m sorry, I’m just not getting it. It’s not now yet, is it? So don’t worry.”