Theresa May quietly relieved that ‘Brexit’ doesn’t actually mean anything

July 13, 2016

Theresa May is understood to be privately really pleased that ‘Brexit’ isn’t strictly a word, so she can say it means what it means and then invent what that is.

Theresa May: Brelieved

Having told the nation “Brexit means Brexit,” she has already ordered the creation of a new government department for thinking up what that could be with her as prime minister.

Early proposals are said to include a new breakfast cereal marketed as “good for regularity” or a trunk road linking Broadstairs on the Kent coast to the M2.

A source told Swan Bake Mrs May had also asked civil servants to look into the feasibility of persuading Bryan Adams to produce a 14th and final album.

The source said: “That’s got nothing to do with Brexit; she just wants him to stop.

“On Brexit, she’s delighted that the spin and hyperbole of made-up words has finally done some good. It means ‘Brexit’ supporters can be told they are getting what they want and then what it is, in that order.

“Imagine if the phrase coined for Britain leaving the EU had used actual words, like ‘Britain leaves the EU’. That would obviously be insane and unworkable.”

The source said gaining support for whatever ‘Brexit’ came to mean would be a “straightforward” matter of irresponsibly appealing to the country’s latent xenophobia. “We’ll make a poster showing a queue of migrants waiting for a bus to take them down the M2 to a boat in Broadstairs, or represented as germs in the bowel.

“Yes, that’s good. I’m going to write that down.”

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