“No point in ‘PrayFor’ hashtags as I’m not on Twitter and don’t exist,” God confirms

‘PrayFor’ hashtags are a waste of everyone’s time because God almost certainly wouldn’t have a Twitter account even if he did exist, he or she has said.

Cima_da_Conegliano,_God_the_Father
What God might look like if he wasn’t a load of dangerous bollocks

The chances of a real God basing decisions on Twitter trends are tiny and a made-up one zero, according to the imaginary deity.

God said: “And by the way, most of the time the ‘prayers’ are for a place where a massacre has just been committed in my name.

“That’s a bit weird, isn’t it? I mean, that’s not coincidence –  you’re fucking with me, right?

“At the risk of sounding radical, I wonder if you have considered limiting your beliefs to things which are demonstrably real, like the extreme potential for harm of faith in me, and irony.

“No. You’re winding me up. Fuck off.”

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