July 20, 2016

The row over Melania Trump’s speech is nothing to the shit-storm that would have been unleashed by her saying any words she thought of herself, it has been confirmed.

If Donald Trump supporters think the plagiarised one was embarrassing, they should have heard the speech his wife read the campaign team minutes before she was due on stage, an insider told Swan Bake.

He said: “It was basically an endless series of knock-knock jokes but written by someone who doesn’t understand how a knock-knock joke works. Like, ‘Knock knock. Who’s there? Lion. Lion who? Lion and zebra.’

“It was baffling. And the worst part was, we all had to keep saying ‘Who’s there?’ and ‘Who?’ with ever diminishing enthusiasm.

“And then at the end she asked how long her husband was going to live.”

Mrs Trump told Swan Bake: “Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it needed to go to the shops.”