‘I don’t like Trump. He’s a twat,’ clarifies Putin

July 28, 2016

Vladimir Putin thinks Donald Trump is an enormous sack of crumbly white dog shit, he has confirmed.

Valdimir Putin
Putin: “I cannot like or respect a tiny-handed wank admiral.”

Responding to speculation by the Republican nominee that he would like and respect him as US president, Putin said he would continue to see him as a giant talking pubic louse instead.

Putin said: “Why has someone drawn a small face on an enormous bleached testicle? Why do its pubes consist of a single endless strand wound infinitely back on itself?

“Why are the hands and penis connected to it so tiny? Do they belong to a mouse? Is it a balding white mouse with the testicle of a horse?

“How does it talk? Does it also have a horse’s arse? A bleached one? A bleached horse’s arse that shits words?

“Yes, I think this is what it is.”

Trump responded: “Well, you know, at some point, there is going to be a point at which, you know, there are people out there who, these people, the people-”

“Will someone put a lid on this bottle of fizzy dog shit?” said Putin.

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