Force criminals to reoffend so we can kill them next time, says UKIP leadership hopeful

July 29, 2016

Prisoners should be stripped of all assets so they can later be executed for crimes they have to commit to survive, according to rising UKIP fuck-knuckle Bill Etheridge.

Hitchhiker's Vogon
Bill Etheridge. Yes, it does actually look like him, doesn’t it?

In a two-pronged clampdown on rehabilitation, MEP Etheridge wants to charge prisoners until they’re definitely homeless while seeking the country’s approval in a referendum to eventually kill them.

The UKIP leadership hopeful said: “At the moment we pay for efforts to reform them in the hope of building a better society.

“What I’m saying is, kill them and take their money.

“They definitely won’t do it again.”

Etheridge also wants to foster hostility for the rule of law in new prisoners by keeping them in their cells and routinely jabbing them with a high-voltage cattle-prod whenever they’re trying to relax.

“We have to get them on the right track early,” he said.

Prisoner Terry McCann said: “I’m not too worried. I’ve been away for a while but I can’t imagine we’ve got a frightening new unelected Tory-right prime minister and a completely ineffective Labour, allowing the far right to seize mass support on the wave of some kind of fraudulent victory.”

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