We won your Rio 2016 medals too, Conservative MP tells former British colonies

August 24, 2016

We’ll be taking credit for those, a Conservative MP has told former British colonies who mistakenly thought their Olympic medals were a result of their own sporting excellence.

Heather_Wheeler_MP
Heather ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ Wheeler

You continue to be indebted to us for anything you ever achieve because let’s not forget you were nothing before we came along, South Derbyshire MP Heather Wheeler has reminded former British imperial territories including India, Australia and much of the US.

If your success signifies anything at all, it’s that it’s right for Britain to leave the EU, and if you’ve got a problem with that then bring on the fucking trade negotiations, Wheeler squeezed in to a single devastatingly offensive Tweet.

US athlete Ray Doyle said: “I thought the medal I trained six hours a day for the last four years to win was a credit to my own country but clearly that’s wrong.

“I can see now that it’s all been an incredibly elaborate exercise in validating Brexit, whatever the fuck that is.”

British empire lamenter Will Bodie said: “Offensive? Hah! Any light-hearted remark will spark outrage from the Twitter PC brigade.

“The British empire was great and if you find that offensive you should go back to your ancestral homeland, which by rights is also British.”

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