Richard Branson has no problem finding seat in limo

August 25, 2016

There’s no need for extra limos because Richard Branson immediately found a seat in his with several to spare, the business mogul has confirmed.

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Although he sat on the floor momentarily, it was purely an exercise to help him imagine what it would be like to travel on a train, the Virgin boss said.

But anyone feeling like making an issue over seating had better not, because CCTV showed there was a vacant one on the 3.15pm from London to Manchester on July 31, Branson added.

He said: “Of course trains are overcrowded. It would take someone divorced from reality, perhaps by virtue of obscene wealth, to try to undermine that point. A billionaire tax-exile for example.

“Certainly someone who never has to get a fucking train.

“But instead of indisputable fact, let us focus on this photo of a seat left vacant briefly while a passenger went to the toilet. And indeed this one, of the passenger on the toilet.

“Because I have CCTV my friend, and I’m willing to use to it.

“You thought it was for security, didn’t you it? It is; the security of my business interests.

“Although I also have a private collection of images for ‘entertainment’.

“For the avoidance of doubt, I’m talking about wanking.

“So if you’re thinking of taking a photo of people standing in a crowded vestibule, walk on, literally, past one of my ‘security’ cameras, and remember: I may have missed out on the National Lottery but it could still be you.”

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