September 17, 2016

Donald Trump’s doctor has spoken out about having to deliver the difficult news to the billionaire’s supermodel wife that her husband is healthy.

The Republican candidate’s physician said he informed Melania Trump of his report’s findings during a telephone conversation, to be told: “Are you sure? Check again.”

Recounting the exchange, Dr Octopus said: “I asked if she was sitting down.

“Then I said ‘It’s your husband. He’s in excellent health.’

“She said ‘What? No! It’s not possible. I saw him this morning. He’s like an unset jelly.’

“She became agitated and made me go through the report blow-by-blow, and then said ‘Hair! Can you die of bad hair?’

“I said I didn’t think so and she said ‘It’s really bad though. What if your hands are too small to fix it?’

“Before I could answer she shouted ‘Bone spurs! He has bone spurs!’

“I said, ‘Mrs Trump, if bone spurs could kill he still wouldn’t die from it because he made that up to avoid conscription. The fact is he may out-live you.’

“There were several seconds of silence and then she whispered ‘This wasn’t the deal, God.’”