October 6, 2016

Millions of traditional Tory voters have switched to backing Jeremy Corbyn for prime minister after learning from Theresa May that “Some people call Labour the nasty party.”

The claim in Mrs May’s conference speech was intended as a swipe at Labour but instead has left the Conservatives with just one assured vote, from a restauranteur in Swindon, said by friends to be “not nasty, just very stupid”.

Adding to Mrs May’s embarrassment, researchers have confirmed there is no record of anyone ever calling Labour the nasty party except her, while ordinary people unanimously agree it’s still the Tories.

Lifetime Tory voter Ray Doyle said: “I don’t really understand politics but I am extremely nasty, so Labour it is.”

Ordinary person William Bodie said: “I’m not a political commentator but I just looked it up on Wikipedia and it said ‘The term Nasty Party is used to refer to the Conservative Party of the United Kingdom.’

“Obviously.”

A spokesperson for Mrs May said: “She misspoke. I have to work for her and I can assure you she is one very nasty fucker.”

“I love her,” said French National Front leader Marine Le Pen.