November 24, 2016
A dead Brexit voter has returned from the grave to insist he’s well on the road to recovery.
The ghost of Ray Doyle materialised at his own funeral to accuse his Remainer relatives of engineering “yet another utter doom and gloom scenario”.
Interrupting a eulogy by his widow, Mr Doyle said: “The key thing about you is you’ve been wrong about everything so far.
“You said it was safe to hire a chainsaw without experience.
“And now here you go with yet more lunatic assumptions about ‘having to say goodbye’.”
Addressing the other mourners, Mr Doyle said: “Look at you all. Boo-fucking-hoo. It’s Project Fear all over again. Give it a fucking rest. I’m as fit as the economy.”
However, Mr Doyle’s lifetime friend Will Bodie replied: “Ray, you know your head’s off?”