November 25, 2016

Remainers will accept the cost of Brexit as long as those who voted for it spend some money on learning to make better decisions, they say.

They don’t want compensation for the £1,250 Brexit is set to cost every household provided those responsible grow from the episode, perhaps through diversity training.

Remainer Ray Doyle said: “We could argue all day about whether Remainers are the ‘liberal elite’ or just better educated.

“The way to find out is clearly to try a little bit of education and see if you still bumble blindly through life harming yourself and everyone around you with your unstoppable fuckwittery.”

Mr Doyle wants the money Brexiters owe his family to be used to provide basic courses bespoke to their needs, including “how not to be racist” and “marauding twattery and how to avoid it”.

However, Brexit voter Will Bodie said: “I decided to make a sandwich without using a knife and now I have my hand stuck in a jam jar. What do I do?”