December 14, 2016

Russian interference is the only possible explanation for Kanye West’s enduring success, according to unanimous agreement.

The meeting between West and fellow babbling narcissist Donald Trump must be the result of Moscow meddling to create an illusion of popular support for the man it just elected US president, consensus says.

Although no one is sure what Russia could have done to interfere, it’s even harder to explain how incoherent rapper West otherwise remains famous enough for the meeting to be so widely reported.

Person Ray Doyle said: “Could it be the result of West’s talent? His charisma? His intelligence? All impossible. And once you’ve eliminated the impossible, whatever remains must be the truth.”

However, Russian officials have strenuously denied the allegation, insisting: “Look, we did Brexit but we’re not magicians.”

Asked why the meeting took place, Trump said: “He’s smart. I’m smart. You’re smart. My shoes are smart.”

West said: “I wanted to understand my own inexplicable greatness by meeting a man who has achieved even inexplicablier greatenerness.”