December 31, 2016

The year 2016 wasn’t a total fucking embarrassment and disaster, bullshit-munchers have claimed in a series of New Year messages.

Nigel Farage, who became the face of everything that’s wrong in 2016, led the New Year’s bullshit parade with some bollocks about the year being a “success” without clarifying “for racists”.

Theresa May, who used black magic to become prime minister without a single vote in 2016, said some shit about how Britain should “celebrate” Brexit without adding “because it’s all downhill from here”.

And Donald Trump tweeted some shit that no one understands but appeared to include no reference to the US choosing a fascist wankpuffin as its next leader.

The New Year’s bullshit comes as all indications suggest this shit is going to get a lot worse before it gets any better.

All indications told Swan Bake: “In the words of Nigel Farage, ‘Ignore all the negative predictions and have a great day.’

“Because tomorrow is going to be fucking bollocks.”