‘Please stop talking shit, this is important,’ PM urged

January 20, 2017

Theresa May should make up her mind what the actual fuck she wants out of Brexit and indeed politics because her job is actually quite important, she has been told.

Mrs May’s political vision

People of all political persuasions are concerned that not one single thing she says is compatible with anything else she says, like an impossible jigsaw of little pieces of shit that only makes a big piece of shit.

Concerned citizen Ray Doyle said: “On Tuesday she said we’d leave the single market but then on Thursday she said we’d get ‘maximum access to the single market’ to stop all the banks leaving.

“She said the Brexit vote is all about people feeling left behind by globalisation but she’s going to use it to turn Britain into a global hub for foreign investment.

“She wants to govern for everyone, not just the privileged few, but might fuck over the EU by turning the UK into a tax haven for the privileged few.

“She says chucking out foreign workers makes Britain more internationalist.

“She says ‘leaving’ does not mean becoming ‘more distant’.

“Well, I’m sorry but it does. It actually does.”

Fellow citizen Will Bodie said: “I think Mrs May should continue as prime minister.

“By which I mean she should resign immediately.”

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