“Do you know what? My diary is chock-a-block until, like, always,” Britons have said on learning they are still allowed unfettered entry into a country in the honeymoon stage of an affair with fascism.

Donald Trump’s team has told foreign secretary Boris Johnson that Britons will not be stopped from entering the US, prompting one Briton to say: “There’s a slurry pit down the road, Boris. Can I go in that? It’s nearer.”

Ray Doyle of Reading sad: “I’ve got my bucket list here. I’m looking at ‘Go to country that democratically elected a racist moron.’

“I’d definitely do it but it’s underneath ‘Head in a cow’s anus’, so that has to come first.

“And I’m not doing that.”

Will Bodie of Southend: “I have dual nationality but neither of them is total cunt so I might just stay where I am.”