Britain has confirmed it will vote Leave again in any second referendum for the same reason it did so in the first place: it is demented.
Even though the Government’s Brexit White Paper ignores Leave campaign pledges, has no plan for trade deals and makes clear UK parliament was always sovereign, voters will not change their minds until science cures idiocy.
Leave voter Ray Doyle of Reading said: “We can take back control, create new jobs with new trade deals and give £350 million a week to the NHS.
“I saw it on a bus.”
Fellow Leave voter Will Bodie, from Hebden Bridge, said: “I want Britain to be back British.”
Scientist Professor Brian Cox said: “With practice we improve at things, so in fact further referendums may produce a bigger Leave majority as the country becomes better at being stupid.
“Eventually we may be able to have a referendum specifying that the decision to Leave is to be enacted by immediately marching backward off a cliff, and there would be no change in the result. Except death.
“We can show them some foreigners and say the country’s at breaking point or something.”
Bodie thought for a moment before nodding his support for the idea, adding: “England’s full.”