A 10-year-old boy put in charge of the world says the media should focus not on his profound unsuitability for the job but the fact tell-tales keep talking about it.
The “real story” isn’t that he has no character or moral compass and runs government like a rudderless ship of insane child pirates but that people are finding out, he says.
In a tweet directed at US intelligence agencies, who he blames for leaking the fact he works for Russia, he wrote: ‘Telling tales is ileegal criminal crimes. FAKE NOOS!’
A second tweet said Hilary Clinton was a conspiracy theorist behind a conspiracy against him, adding ‘Believe me’.
The boy has drawn up a list of ‘fake’ and ‘great’ media outlets, with those that talk about his idiocy and corruption on the former and Trump Magazine on the latter.
He is also refusing to take any question that is not “What would you like to talk about?”
Democratic congressman Mark Pocan said: “The joke’s over. This boy needs to be impeached. And spanked.”