Brexit is just like the final scene of Thelma & Louise, Theresa May has told Nicola Sturgeon with an expression on her face like a smile only frightening.

Article 50 is the car, Ms Sturgeon passenger and Mrs May will be driver as they hurtle off the edge of a cliff representing the European Union, the Prime Minister said with a far-away look.

“Let’s keep going,” said the Prime Minister.

“What are you talking about?” asked a startled Ms Sturgeon, clawing for the door handle.

“This isn’t a time for games, Nicola,” said Mrs May. “The child locks are on. You can get out after we land. If you still want to.

“The joy of our union will eclipse the underlying sense of unspeakable loss and injustice,” added Mrs May as the car accelerated.

“But no one even gave you permission to drive this car,” Scotland’s First Minister was heard to say.

Brexiter Ray Doyle, in the boot, said: “Scotland will realise it can’t get by on its own once we’re both at the bottom of the canyon.

“At the end of the day no one knows exactly what’s going to happen but Thelma and Louise did it and they seemed to be okay in the sequel.”