Mass brawl in nightclub that relied on red lines to keep peace

Notional red lines are entirely ineffective as a peacekeeping tool, a nightclub owner said from the wreckage of his property today.

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Ray Doyle decided to save money on bouncers after noting how the US and Russia simply warned against ‘crossing red lines’ to avoid open conflict, and now faces closure after a single devastating night.

Mr Doyle said: “The club’s red line was no violence and problems arose when a group of customers established their own red line as extreme violence.

“I said to one ‘You’re crossing a red line’ and he said ‘How about I draw some red lines on your face?’

“So I said ‘The whole system relies on people not unilaterally drawing irreconcilable red lines.’

“Then I woke up in hospital with these red lines on my face.

“Rather than keep the peace, I think red lines may be the reason my nightclub looks like the OK Corral.”

Mr Doyle’s warning comes after Kim Yong Un conducted tests of a red pen in breach of a UN resolution.

A spokesman for the North Korean supreme leader said: “That resolution is going to be so far over this red line once drawn.”

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