No one knows what to believe because all world leaders talk complete and constant bullshit, it has been confirmed.
In their alternative-fact-post-truth world, the only certainty is that they are all talking out of their arses, tests show.
Scientist Professor Brian Cox said: “Vladimir Putin says the US is lying over Syria and couldn’t inspire less trust if he was Nick Cotton and added ‘Honest ma, I mean it this time.’
“Donald Trump says Russia is lying over Syria but according to his own people disagrees with facts.
“When a disagreement could mean World War III, it feels important to have an informed view on it but that would require some information that is not bullshit.
“Meanwhile Kim Jong-Un would execute the truth with a mortar round if he could, and has definitely tried.
“All we know for sure is that they all have their fingers on nuclear buttons and have parted ways with reality.
“It’s a situation that Trump might call ‘not good’, if he could stop bullshitting for the one second it would take.
“And our own Prime Minister’s contribution is to go around saying things like ‘leaving doesn’t mean becoming more distant’, which it literally exactly does.”
Theresa May said: “I have a sense that people of Britain are coming together and uniting.
“Sometimes I see dead people.”