A wealthy banker on a six-figure salary has confirmed that the reason he does not use food banks is because he does not need to.
After Prime Minister Theresa May said there were “many complex reasons” why nurses used food banks, Ray Doyle explained there was nothing at all complex about his reasons for going to expensive restaurants instead.
Mr Doyle said: “There may well be many and various reasons nurses go to food banks but there is only one I do not: I am fucking loaded.
“I would no more go to a food bank than Theresa May would, being even more fucking loaded.”
Nurse Will Bodie said: “I suppose you could argue conversely that the reason I do go to food banks is because I am not fucking loaded, but no, that obviously barely touches on the vast complexity of this situation.
“I’m probably a gambler or compulsive spender or something.
“Or perhaps I’m being blackmailed.
“We’ll probably never know.
“Can I have a sandwich?”