Man motivated by Theresa May to achieve strength and stability having catastrophic breakdown

A man who adopted Theresa May as his motivation and role model for attaining strength and stability has become afraid and desperate, he has admitted.

Theresa May weak and wobbly
Today’s tip for strength and stability: Answer every question with a stock unrelated statement. Even when it makes you feel like this.

Ray Doyle has spent the weeks since the Prime Minister called a snap election emulating her in a bid to become strong and stable and is now too scared to leave his house.

My Doyle said: “I often get asked questions I don’t want to deal with, for example by my wife, children or boss, so I was inspired to see how Mrs May answers everything simply by saying something unrelated about strong and stable leadership, best deal for Britain and very clear.

“However, after a confident start, like her I now deliver the same lines looking like I’m dying inside.

“I tried staring at a picture of her and reciting the words ‘strong and stable’. I have to go now because the walls are closing in again.”

Mr Doyle’s colleague Will Bodie said: “He called a meeting and didn’t turn up, and when I texted him I got a reply saying ‘Too busy getting best deal, why aren’t you?’

“I found him in his office pressing the ‘escape’ key over and over again and crying.

“The funny thing is, I’m inspired by Jeremy Corbyn and I don’t remember feeling better.”

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Man motivated by Theresa May to achieve strength and stability having catastrophic breakdown

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s