A major nationwide police search is underway for anyone who voted for this.

The alarm was raised after it emerged that someone to vote for this was last captured on CCTV nowhere ever.

Supt Ray Doyle, leading the investigation, said: “What we do have on CCTV – well, TV actually – is Tories saying ‘No one wants another election.’ A lot.

“We’re very interested in speaking to this ‘no one’ because he or she sounds like the exact same person that may have voted for a minority Tory government propped up by creationist homophobes at a cost of £1 billion.

“There’s also a possible matter of identity theft, since we have evidence that it is in fact ‘everyone’ who wants another election.”

Everyone confirmed: “Yes, it’s me that wants another election.”

Speaking exclusively to Swan Bake, no one said: “It was me who voted for this bullshit.”